I don’t even know if I’m actually depressed. I’m so scared to tell my parents, I don’t want any help, and I wouldn’t take medications anyway. Some moments I find myself smiling and laughing, but then I remember the life I live and I just stop. I’m scared that people are starting to notice. My mom is realizing that I get anxiety and I think she noticed when I paused before answering if I have ever had suicidal thoughts on a physical paper I had to fill out.